Troubled Boys, Warm Hearts and Commitment

The Story of Trilogy for Kids

Imagine being abandoned by your family when your parents go to prison, become drug- or alcohol-addicted, or overwhelmed by the responsibility of parenting. Visualize being removed from your family because of neglect or abuse and having no one to help you. Picture the emotional damage, loneliness and heartache because you have no one to love and protect you. You now have a glimpse into the lives of 24 young boys who are wards of the state and live in Cobb Center in Seattle. Ranging in age from 6 to 16, the boys live in 3 cottages separated by their likelihood of being adopted or fostered. Some will live there for a few months, others for many years. All will receive 24/7 supervision and therapeutic intervention. These are the children supported by Trilogy for Kids.

Soon after moving to the community of Trilogy at Redmond Ridge, Lani Benafel began looking for a philanthropic activity geared to kids. She wanted to help Cobb Center boys when she learned that Children’s Home Society, which runs Cobb Center, was suffering from major cuts in State of Washington funding. She recruited other Trilogy women and in 2004 formed Trilogy for Kids. Through the generosity of Trilogy at Redmond Ridge residents, tens of thousands of dollars have been raised and countless volunteer hours spent to benefit the boys who are in the recovery program at Cobb Center.

RESIDENTS’ GENEROSITY
Volunteering skills and time isn’t the only thing Trilogy for Kids needs from residents, and we’re glad to say that people here are generous with their money, too. “The residents always say yes when we ask for help,” says Trilogy for Kids President Julie Steele, “and we give them lots of chances to say yes through our several fundraisers.”

Everything we do is for the boys and the stories that emerge from our involvement are touching. One child can’t go swimming because of the intense punishment he received from his father when he wet his bed. Another refuses to smile because the last person he smiled at was his mother and he says he is not going to smile again until she gets out of prison.

When we watch the children at play they seem like kids anywhere. But a pervasive sense of sadness — and in some, great anger — hangs about them. These are children who have been betrayed by the people who were supposed to love and protect them and they are wary of almost all adults. They are afraid to make attachments but are hungry for a family to foster or adopt them. One of the counselors told me that perhaps the biggest gift we give the boys is the understanding that some adults do nice things without expecting anything in return. Our commitment to the boys is strong and we demonstrate it to them many times during the year with a variety of fun activities.

• Valentine Party is an annual event the long-term Cobb Center residents look forward to each year. This year’s events included pizza for lunch, crafts organized by Julie Steele, the Reptile Man hired by Susie Pass, and a hike through the woods (one boy came back claiming he had found a bear’s cave!). At the end of the afternoon, while the boys munched on cookies and ice cream, they listened to the poem Susie Pass had written for them. Susie writes a poem for the boys each year and it’s a joy to watch their faces light up as their names are mentioned and she talks about their favorite things.
• Summer BBQ gives the boys a chance to enjoy a traditional American ritual of eating grilled food and playing games. Trilogy men get involved with the boys and teach them a little tennis and golf and take them for rides around the golf course. Swimming in the clubhouse pool is always one of the highlights of the afternoon.
• Bowling is a three times a year activity.
• Pacific Science Center passes allow staff to reward boys with good behavior.
• Woodland Park Zoo passes are another way the boys get to enjoy the fruits of good behavior.

Julie Steele has always done crafts for her own kids and grandchildren and children at church and understands the pleasure people get from being creative. From her first involvement with Trilogy for Kids four years ago, Julie has been in charge of crafts when the boys come to visit for the Valentine party and barbeque. The first year she decided to do little treasure boxes. The idea came from her son-in-law who grew up in a large family in which the children shared all the toys. Each child had a little treasure box that no one was supposed to touch and he had talked about how important his box was to him. Cobb Center boys arrive with nothing of their own — usually just the clothes on their backs — so Julie wanted each child to have their own treasure box. “The kids just loved it,” recalls Julie. “They enjoyed painting the boxes but were amazed that they could take them home with them. I wondered for a while if boys were really that into crafts but one year we skipped it because the schedule was so full. The boys were very upset and we learned how important crafts are to them.”

One of our goals in working with the children is to make them feel — at least for a time — like children everywhere. Giving them regular presents and letting them shop for their own clothes are some of the ways we do it:

• Birthday presents and cards are delivered once a month. Sometimes a child specifies a gift he would like to receive but increasingly he wants his $50 gift in the form of a gift certificate so he can go shopping for his present.
• Christmas gifts are collected from residents through a giving tree and taken to Cobb Center along with Mr. and Mrs. Santa (Trilogy residents Bob and Nancy Gusse) who distribute the gifts at the party we organize for them. The boys also receive stockings made by Trilogy for Kids crafters and filled with typical Christmas stocking stuff.
• Shopping for clothes is made possible with a $150 Fred Meyer gift card each child gets from us before school starts. They receive another gift card to shop for summer clothes.
• Backpacks filled with needed school supplies allow every boy to approach the new school year equipped to learn like any other student.

WHY WE DO IT
We help children because they belong to us. They may not be children of our loins but they are the kids of our future. The boys at Cobb Center are the throwaway kids who will be lost if they don’t receive therapeutic intervention while they are still young. The children who spend time at Camp Korey have a chance to spend five days in a safe environment where they can be just like any other kid. Who wouldn’t help them if they had the chance?

By: Sandy Prater Beheyt
Published February 24, 2009

Stellar Travel is a proud sponsor of Trilogy for Kids through the company’s travel donations and fundraising assistance. Trilogy at Redmond Ridge is home for Stellar Travel co-president Susan Bluhm, and Stellar Travel associates Ric Rodman and Leslie Beeh are also residents of the Trilogy community.
To learn more about Trilogy for Kids donation and participation opportunities, please email Trilogy for Kids at juliesteele@verizon.net

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